“Kirsten. Kirsten… Kirsten!”
“God, what?!”
“Give me the bowl, it’s my turn!”
“Okay, okay.”
“Come on, it’s my turn… Come on.”
“I’m giving it to you, chill the fuck out.”
Kirsten passed the bowl over to Leah, who was waiting impatiently in the passenger seat of Kirsten’s 2007 Mazda3. Leah put the bowl to her lips, ignited the weed with her black lighter, and sucked in. Inhaling as much smoke as she could, Leah held it in her mouth and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the headrest.
“God, what?!”
“Give me the bowl, it’s my turn!”
“Okay, okay.”
“Come on, it’s my turn… Come on.”
“I’m giving it to you, chill the fuck out.”
Kirsten passed the bowl over to Leah, who was waiting impatiently in the passenger seat of Kirsten’s 2007 Mazda3. Leah put the bowl to her lips, ignited the weed with her black lighter, and sucked in. Inhaling as much smoke as she could, Leah held it in her mouth and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the headrest.
In the driver seat Kirsten was texting on her iPhone 5s, already high. Her thumbs flew across the screen, typing increasingly fast, and pausing every so often to read something. Leah finally exhaled the smoke and opened her now-red eyes.
“Shit,” she said, “this is some strong stuff.”
Kirsten looked over at her, and Leah back at Kirsten, both with glazed over and red eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing. Leah let her lighter fall out of her hand and into her lap, but she knew better than to drop the bowl.
“Yeah, Peter got it from California,” Kirsten replied, returning back to her phone.
Leah put the bowl back to her lips and took another hit. They sat in the vacant parking lot of a Walmart. It was 10:42PM on a Friday night. Kirsten had some rap station playing in her car.
Exhaling her second hit, Leah sifted around the ashes in the bowl, inspecting to see if there was anything worth lighting up. Eventually she decided it was done, opened her car door, and banged out the ashes on the pavement. She wiped the inside clean with her thumb, then shut her door again, replacing the bowl in her side purse.
Kirsten typed something on her phone, dropped it in between her legs, and put the car in drive.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go to June’s.”
She drove the car out of the parking lot and took a right at the light. The road was pretty much empty, except for a few stray cars every now and then. Kirsten turned up the rap song. The windows were down, the music played, and the summertime air filled the girls’ lungs.
Leah reached to lower the volume again.
“Hey, Kirsten,” she said.
“What?”
“Do you think there might be other worlds?”
“Fuck, Leah,” Kirsten said.
“What?”
“Why do you do this?”
“What?”
“Why do you have to get like this? You always do this shit when you smoke.”
“What, I’m just asking a simple question. Do you think there are, like, other universes and galaxies besides ours?”
“I don’t fucking know, Leah.” Pause. “God, why does it even matter?”
“What, I can’t be fucking curious?”
“Well why can’t we just have a good time instead of getting all deep and philosophical? Like, jeez.”
Leah rolled her eyes and looked out the window, upset. She let a deep breath out of her nose. Suddenly, she wanted to go home. She always wanted to go home right before she went to a party.
Kirsten turned to her, already moving on. “Hey, I think Jason will be here tonight.” Leah didn’t say anything. “When I hung out with him last weekend, it was so tight. We just, like, smoke and drank and fooled around.”
“Do you want to go out with him?” Leah asked.
Kirsten made a face as if that was the craziest idea in the world. “Are you serious? Hell no. We just hook up.” Pause. “Leah, I don’t understand why you can’t find a guy to just hook up with. Okay, I know you like Marv, but you’re young, and pretty, and funny. Why don’t you have fun while you can?”
Leah didn’t say anything. To her, dating would be fun. If she just had the courage to be upfront with Marv.
Kirsten continued. “I know so many guys that would want to hook up with you. Peter, for one! He’s obsessed with you. And Brent. Liam, probably would too.” Beat. “Do you want me to talk to them for you tonight? I’ll talk to them for you tonight.”
That was the last thing Leah wanted, but she didn’t say anything. The girls drove in silence. Leah turned the music back up. Finally, Kirsten took a left down a street. A few houses down, dozens of cars were parked all along the sides of the road. The chatter of a party could be heard, and music was blaring. Kirsten pulled the car off to the side, away from all the other cars. She put it in park and removed the key from the ignition, shutting the radio off.
Kirsten put her visor down and opened the mirror, touching up her makeup. Leah sat there. This was the last place she wanted to be. In fact, all she really wanted was to be at home with her dog, or perhaps in Florida with her young cousins. Kirsten reapplied some lip gloss and then shut her visor. She grabbed her purse and began getting out of the car. Leah automatically did the same. The girls shut their doors, walking up to June’s house. They walked through the front yard, where a circle of people were hanging out and smoking in the dark.
“Kirsten and Leah! Finally, what up bitches?” Someone said from the circle. The two girls looked over at the group, and a tall blonde with a huge smile stepped into the lit up part of the yard and began walking towards them.
“What’s up, slut?!” Kirsten said. She and Leah walked over to meet the blonde, who opened her arms for a hug, but basically fell onto the girls.
“Oh, fuck,” a boy from the circle said. “Sorry, she’s really drunk,” he said to Leah and Kirsten. Then to the blonde, “Olivia, get up!”
Leah and Kirsten hung onto Olivia, who was laughing in their arms.
“Kyle, will you come get her please?” Kirsten said.
The boy came over to them to retrieve Olivia. She could barely stand by herself. The girls transferred her to Kyle, who then propped her up with his arms.
“Come on, stand up Olivia,” he said.
Olivia giggled while Kyle tried to get her to stand up without any help. Leah and Kirsten left them without saying anything. They walked up to the front door and went in as if it was their own home.
Right when they walked in, they saw people everywhere. Laying on the couches, leaning against the walls, sitting on the countertops. There weren’t many open spaces. The girls navigated through the crowd, trying to make their way to the kitchen to get to the alcohol. A few people said hello to them along the way.
“Yo! Whassup?!” a tall football player named Vince said. “Why weren’t you guys at the game last night?”
“I had to do my community service,” Kirsten said.
“I was grounded,” Leah lied.
“Shit, well I wish you guys could’ve been there. It was no fun without you two.”
“We know,” Kirsten said with a coy smile and flirty eyes.
Vince looked at her, completely charmed. He moved closer to her, but she casually took a step back.
“You’re coming next time, right?” he said. He seemed to have forgotten Leah was even there.
“Maybe,” Kirsten said.
“I hope you do.”
“You seen Jason around tonight?”
She smiled and gave him a wink. Then the girls began walking away. Vince called after them, “You guys better be there next time!”
They weaved through the house, attempting to dodge everyone they could until they just got to the damn alcohol. But Sissy saw them.
“Oh! Hey, girlies!” she said, throwing her arms around both of them. “How are you?! Oh my god, your outfits are so pretty.”
“Thanks, Sissy,” Kirsten said.
“Leah, your hair is just gorgeous, what did you do to it?”
Leah’s brows furrowed. “Nothing,” she said.
“Oh my god, it’s so pretty,” Sissy said.
Leah gave her a half-hearted fake smile. “Thanks.”
“Did you girls see Olivia tonight? Oh my god, she is absolutely wasted. It’s embarrassing, really. Kyle is, like, taking care of her. She was falling everywhere, and I heard she puked somewhere…”
Sissy continued rambling, but the girls weren’t even listening. Kirsten looked towards to kitchen impatiently, and Leah observed the crowd. Looking around the family room, she spotted a boy sitting on the couch. People all around him were passing around a bong, but when it got to him he politely declined. He was wearing a white and black striped t-shirt with a jean jacket over it and olive-colored pants.
He looked up. He and Leah caught each other’s eyes. Seeing her, he immediately perked up and smiled at her. She smiled back. He motioned for her to come join him. Leah turned to Kirsten, about to tell her goodbye, but Kirsten grabbed her wrist.
“Sissy, it was really nice talking to you. We actually gotta go though,” Kirsten said, already leaving and taking Leah with her.
“Oh, okay,” Sissy said. “Well, text me!”
Kirsten rolled her eyes. They resumed their path to the kitchen. Leah looked back to the boy, but he was talking to a girl named Martha. Kirsten and Leah were suddenly halted yet again.
“Hey! Kirsten, Leah!”
“Oh my fucking god,” Kirsten groaned.
The girls stopped, looking towards the voice that just called them. It was the homeowner, June. She got up from a chair at a table where she and a bunch of other people were playing some drinking game with a deck of cards. She was already really drunk.
Walking over people, she made her way to the girls, smiling hugely.
“Hey!” she said.
“Hey, June,” Kirsten said. Kirsten always was the one to talk, not because Leah was shy, but just because she didn’t feel like talking that much ever.
“I’m so glad you guys could come,” she said.
“It’s a good party,” Kirsten said.
June looked around at everyone. “Oh my god, I know, right? But, anyway, I just wanted to say, my parents are gonna be home, like, tomorrow evening, so if you could, like, maybe just clean up after yourselves so I won’t have a lot to do tomorrow morning? I mean, that would be great.”
The girls stared at her blankly. Leah laughed out loud, but quickly covered her mouth and stopped. This outburst made Kirsten bite her lip to try to refrain from laughter also.
“Um, sure, June,” Kirsten said.
“Yeah, no problem, June,” Leah said. “Don’t even worry about it, we got you.”
June took this sarcasm literally. “Oh my god, thank you so much, guys. It means a lot.” Beat. “Well, enjoy the party!”
June returned back to her seat.
“We certainly will,” Kirsten said under her breath.
The girls walked away, bursting out in laughter.
“Are you fucking serious, Leah? I can’t believe you just laughed in her face. You made me laugh!” Kirsten said,
Leah was still giggling. “Who the fuck says something like that?”
“That was so funny,” Kirsten said. “Let’s get to this goddamn alcohol already though.”
The girls finally made it to the kitchen with no other interruptions. On the island in the middle of the room were about a dozen bottles of different types of liquor, some sodas, juices, and red solo cups.
“Oh, hell yeah,” Kirsten said. “June got her shit together. Hm. Maybe I will clean up after myself.”
The girls laughed. They each took a clean cup and began surveying the alcohol. Kirsten poured some Skyy vodka into her cup.
“Take a shot with me!” she said.
Now was the point in the night where Leah partook in the typical party affairs. She took the vodka from Kirsten and poured two shots worth in her cup.
“Cheers, bitch!” Kirsten toasted. They raised their cups and quickly downed the liquid, making faces afterwards.
“Ugh,” Leah said. “That was so bad.”
Kirsten picked up some rum, poured some in her cup, and topped it off with some Coca Cola. Leah poured another shot into her cup and quickly downed it before anyone saw. Then she made a concoction of vodka and lemonade. Although by her standards, it could have been mistaken as lemon flavored vodka.
“Woo!” Kirsten said, already feeling the warmth in her body. She was a lightweight. “Now I’m ready to socialize.”
The girls giggled. Leah gulped down her drink, already about halfway through. Kirsten quickly grabbed Leah’s arm.
“Oh my god, there’s Jason!” she whispered.
Leah looked in the direction that Kirsten was looking in and spotted a tall, preppy blond boy flirting with a short brunette. The brunette had extreme curls and was bouncing them all over the place, giggling and lightly slapping Jason’s arm. He was all over her.
“Who the fuck is that bitch?” Kirsten said.
Leah tried to play along. “She’s probably just some whore.”
“She’s flirting so hard with Jason,” Kirsten said.
“Yeah, but who wouldn’t flirt with Jason? He’s a catch.”
“He’s flirting back.”
“No he’s not. Kirsten,” Leah said. “He’s just being nice. He looks like he doesn’t even want to talk to her.”
Kirsten chugged the rest of her drink, still eyeing Jason and the brunette. The girl shrieked with laughter and Jason joined in. Leah watched Kirsten and had the bottle of rum in her hand, ready to give some to her.
“Where’s the rum?” Kirsten said.
Leah held it up and poured some in her friend’s empty cup. She put the liquor back down on the counter, about to pick up the Coca Cola, but Kirsten drank what was in her cup before Leah had a chance.
“Shit, Kirsten! Pace yourself. You’re a lightweight.”
“Who the fuck is that girl?”
“Just go over and talk to him.”
Kirsten looked angry.
“I mean, you guys are just hooking up though,” Leah tried. “You said you didn’t want to date him.”
Kirsten shot her a look. Leah regretted saying anything.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” Leah said.
“No! Don’t, Leah. What is this, middle school?”
Leah put her hands up. “Okay, okay. God, I was just asking.” Neither girl said anything. “Oh, come on, Kirsten. Let’s just have fun tonight!”
Reluctantly, Kirsten looked away from Jason and the brunette.
“Come on, Kirsten,” Leah said.
Kirsten sighed, finally turning back towards her friend. “Okay.”
Vince walked by, and Leah caught his arm.
“Vince!” she said.
He looked down at both of them, his eyes lighting up. “Hey! You guys coming to the next game?” he joked.
Kirsten didn’t say anything, still upset. Leah knew it was her turn to take initiative.
“Only if you have some drinks with us,” Leah said, nudging his arm.
“Hell yeah, cheers to that,” he said.
Obviously wherever he had been going was not important, because the girls now held all of his attention. Vince instantly began pouring liquor into their three cups.
“I am going to make you guys the best punch ever. Are you ready for it?” he said.
“We are so ready,” Leah said.
“No, I don’t think you are.”
“We are 100% ready,” Leah played along.
“Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?”
“We are so ready!” Leah shouted.
Vince laughed and began mixing rum, vodka, gin, and whiskey in all three of the cups. He topped it all off with a little bit of Hawaiian Fruit Punch and gave each of the girls a cup. Suddenly, Leah wanted to sprint out of the house, get in Kirsten’s car, and drive home. She wanted to sit in bed, watch a movie, and go to sleep. Instead she just took the drink from Vince.
“Cheers! To a great fucking night!” Vince said.
“Cheers,” Leah said.
They raised up their cups—Kirsten’s slightly lower than the other two—and took a gulp. Kirsten and Leah made faces afterwards while Vince smiled at them.
“Ew!” Kirsten said. “You like that?”
“If it gets you drunk, you know I like it,” he said.
She giggled. Feeling a bit better, she said, “I bet I can chug this faster than you.”
“No way,” he said.
“You wanna bet?”
“Let’s have a contest,” he said. Then to everyone in the kitchen around him, “In fact, I want an audience. Hey, everyone!” Some people looked towards Vince. “Kirsten Gallagher thinks that she can chug her drink faster than me. Let’s have a little contest, shall we?”
Everyone cheered. He looked back to Kirsten. “You up for it?”
Kirsten snickered. “I hope you won’t be too embarrassed when I win.”
The crowd went, “oooohhhhh!” Vince smiled, shaking his head.
“I won’t be embarrassed at all. Because I’m going to win,” he said.
“Well, I guess we’ll just see about that,” Kirsten said.
“Alright, count us down!” Vince said to the crowd. “Five, four, three…”
He let the partygoers finish, and he and Kirsten immediately began chugging their drinks. The crowd watched excitedly. Everyone in the kitchen was focused on Kirsten and Vince, including Jason and the brunette.
Kirsten and Vince gulped their drinks down.
“Kirsten’s almost done!” a girl in the crowd said. Everyone looked towards Kirsten. Leah could tell she was smiling from behind her cup. Vince looked worriedly over at her from behind his. The both chugged faster. Suddenly, Kirsten pulled the cup away from her lips, swallowing the last of her drink and saying, “Ahhh!”
The teenagers went wild. Vince finished his drink a second later. Kirsten wiped her mouth and grinned at Vince.
“All right, all right, rematch!” he said.
“Are you sure you want to be humiliated again?” Kirsten said.
Vince started unscrewing the liquor bottles again, pouring them in the cups.
“I’ll fucking win this time,” he said.
Leah grinned while everyone else was captivated. She backed away slowly, starting to leave the kitchen. On her way out, she snuck a peek at Jason, who looked extremely jealous.
Leah left the kitchen and made her way to an empty chair in the corner of the family room. She plopped down in it, drink in hand. She was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol by now. A couple on the couch next to her were getting really touch-feely with each other. Leah sighed and looked around the party. She usually observed her surroundings everywhere she went, but when it came to parties, she often wondered why she was even there in the first place. People were playing beer pong, taking shots, shouting explicit lyrics to some rap song. Leah looked around June’s house. What’s the point?
The boy with the jean jacket from earlier caught her attention from across the room. He was with Calvin and Peter, watching them shotgun beers. He had his own red cup in hand, but Leah couldn’t help noticing it was completely filled to the brim, untouched. She continued to watch, and the jean jacket boy suddenly looked over at her. She smiled and waved at him, which he returned. He turned back to Calvin and Peter, told them something, and then made his way through the crowd to where Leah was sitting. He took a seat at the end of the couch next to her. The couple who were there got up and moved to the bedroom.
“Hey, Leah,” he said.
“What’s up, Marv,” she said.
“You having a good time tonight?”
Leah shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Marv looked at her, studying her. Finally he said, “No you aren’t.”
Leah was surprised by this. “What?”
“You don’t want to be here right now,” he said.
“Says who?”
“Says your expression.”
Leah said nothing. Neither did Marv. She took a sip of her drink.
“Are you having a good time tonight?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“You look pretty sober to me,” she said.
“I am,” he said. “Aren’t you?”
Leah smiled, but didn’t answer. They didn’t really say anything to each other. Marv sat there, trying to find something to say. He really wanted to continue hanging out with Leah. Finally, he took a pack of Juicy Fruit out of his pocket.
“Um, do you want some gum?” he asked.
Leah looked down at her drink. There was still a little less than half a cup.
“Not right now,” she said.
Marv shook his head, replacing the gum back in pocket.
“Oh, yeah, totally. My bad.”
Leah looked at him. She wanted to laugh and tell him it was okay. But she just took a gulp of her drink instead.
They both sat there, unsure of what to say. But neither wanted the other to leave. Marv messed around with his sleeve, while Leah continued taking sips of her drink.
“So, this is bullshit, huh?” Marv abruptly said.
“What is?” Leah asked.
“This—all of this. You know, drinking, smoking, partying. I mean, it’s bullshit.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Oh come on, Leah. I know you think it too.”
Leah looked down at her cup, smiling. “I asked you why you thought that, not if I agreed with you.”
“Oh.” Marv looked at her. He laughed a bit.
She glimpsed up at him. Neither said anything for a moment. He quickly looked down at his sleeve.
Then, “It’s bullshit because it isn’t what really matters in life. And it’s considered weird to have conversations like this—especially in a setting like this—even though it’s really not weird at all.”
“What does that even mean?” Leah said. “’Conversations like this’?”
“You know what I mean—meaningful conversations. People think you’re weird if you converse like this. Especially at a party,” Marv said.
Leah thought back to when she asked Kirsten about other worlds in the car. How Kirsten had gotten upset that she was bringing the topic up. “Yeah,” she said. “You’re right.”
“But I know you like speaking like this.”
Leah narrowed her eyes at him. “How?”
“Because you’re sitting in the corner of the room, all alone. You aren’t doing what everyone else is doing.”
“What is everyone else doing?”
“Acting like idiots.”
“So what am I doing then?”
Marv gazed at her. Suddenly aware that he was staring, he looked away. Leah chuckled, finishing her drink.
“Why do you drink so much?” Marv asked.
Leah looked down. “I don’t.”
“I know you can take a few shots, have several drinks, and still not feel a thing. Don’t tell me you were just born with high tolerance. Because then you’d be part of all this bullshit.”
Leah didn’t say anything. Marv felt bad for saying what he did.
“Well, why don’t you drink at all?” Leah asked.
“Who says I don’t drink at all?”
“You haven’t had one sip tonight.”
“How do you know? Have you been watching me?”
Leah flushed. “No. I meant, you said you were sober earlier, so I thought you hadn’t been drinking.”
Marv shrugged. “Nah, you’re right anyway. I don’t really drink. But is that a crime? I mean the oldest kid here is 17. Why is the fact that I’m not drinking weirder than the fact that everyone else is?”
Leah thought about this. He had a good point. Most of the people here were only 16, including herself. She stared at Marv.
Marv watched her watch him, then said, “What?”
“I like when people make me think,” she answered.
“Do I make you think?”
“Yes.”
“You make me think.”
Leah scoffed. She didn’t really believe him. “I do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re different than other people.”
Leah rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up, Marv.”
“What? What did I say?”
“That is so cliché,” she said. “’You’re different than other people.’ Give me a break.”
“I don’t give a shit if it’s cliché or not, it’s true.”
“Sure, whatever.”
Marv shook his head, a little angry. “Whatever, Leah. Think what you want.” Pause. “You know what, I can’t understand why you hang out around these people, and why you can’t believe anything that anyone ever says to you, especially me. I have no reason to lie to you.”
“Why do I hang around these people? I could say the same to you!” Leah said.
“Leah, you’re better than these people. And before you say anything, yes, that’s cliché, get over it. It’s fucking true.”
“Well, you’re better than these people too. Maybe I wonder the same thing about you. You’re so much better than these people, it kills me to see you at these things. But you’re also the only reason I come. I couldn’t care less about everyone else.”
Marv let these words sink in. He looked down at his sleeve, a smile slowly growing on his face. Leah also let her words resonate. She found herself both shocked and embarrassed at what she said. She sighed, playing around with her red solo cup.
“All anyone our age ever does nowadays is just get trashed and wake up the next morning, not remembering a thing.” Leah shook her head. “It’s pointless. There’s so much more to life.”
“Well now you’re contradicting yourself,” Marv said.
“How am I contradicting myself?”
“That’s exactly what I said earlier.”
“Yeah, and I didn’t disagree with you.”
“But you didn’t say anything else either.”
“I’m not contradicting myself—I’m agreeing with what you said.”
Marv shrugged. “You’re confusing, Leah.”
“I make you think though, huh?” She smiled, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared down at his shoes. Leah nudged his arm. Finally he looked up, smiling at her.
Suddenly a voice called out to Leah. “Hey, Bentwright! You gonna come in here and have a shot with us or what?”
Leah looked up to see Kirsten and Vince in the kitchen doorway smiling at her. They both had their red solo cups in hand, Vince also with a bottle of vodka. Marv looked at them, then back at Leah.
“Well? You gonna go have a shot, Bentwright?” Marv said.
Leah looked at him, her brows knit. She didn’t know whether she should go over to Kirsten and Vince to have a shot and get drunk, or if she should stay and continue her conversation with Marv. Leah looked back towards the kitchen. She could see other people waiting for her reaction. She spotted Jason off to the side, watching Kirsten with extreme jealousy in his eyes. The curly-haired brunette he was with earlier was nowhere to be found.
“Yeah, for sure!” Leah called out.
“All right!” Vince celebrated, raising the vodka. Smiling, he went back into the kitchen. Kirsten was smiling also, waving Leah over. Then she followed Vince back into the kitchen.
Leah looked at Marv. He was messing with his sleeve. Suddenly he picked up his full cup of beer and poured it out into the potted plant next to the couch. He reached into his pocket, retrieving his car keys, but continued to sit there.
“Marv,” Leah said. He looked up at her. She paused, looking down at her empty cup. The party around them was loud, but they heard none of it. Leah bent over and rolled up Marv’s sleeve once, taking him by surprise. She looked at him. “Can I get that piece of gum now?” He looked at her blankly, unsure of how to respond. Then she got up and walked into the kitchen.
“Shit,” she said, “this is some strong stuff.”
Kirsten looked over at her, and Leah back at Kirsten, both with glazed over and red eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing. Leah let her lighter fall out of her hand and into her lap, but she knew better than to drop the bowl.
“Yeah, Peter got it from California,” Kirsten replied, returning back to her phone.
Leah put the bowl back to her lips and took another hit. They sat in the vacant parking lot of a Walmart. It was 10:42PM on a Friday night. Kirsten had some rap station playing in her car.
Exhaling her second hit, Leah sifted around the ashes in the bowl, inspecting to see if there was anything worth lighting up. Eventually she decided it was done, opened her car door, and banged out the ashes on the pavement. She wiped the inside clean with her thumb, then shut her door again, replacing the bowl in her side purse.
Kirsten typed something on her phone, dropped it in between her legs, and put the car in drive.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s go to June’s.”
She drove the car out of the parking lot and took a right at the light. The road was pretty much empty, except for a few stray cars every now and then. Kirsten turned up the rap song. The windows were down, the music played, and the summertime air filled the girls’ lungs.
Leah reached to lower the volume again.
“Hey, Kirsten,” she said.
“What?”
“Do you think there might be other worlds?”
“Fuck, Leah,” Kirsten said.
“What?”
“Why do you do this?”
“What?”
“Why do you have to get like this? You always do this shit when you smoke.”
“What, I’m just asking a simple question. Do you think there are, like, other universes and galaxies besides ours?”
“I don’t fucking know, Leah.” Pause. “God, why does it even matter?”
“What, I can’t be fucking curious?”
“Well why can’t we just have a good time instead of getting all deep and philosophical? Like, jeez.”
Leah rolled her eyes and looked out the window, upset. She let a deep breath out of her nose. Suddenly, she wanted to go home. She always wanted to go home right before she went to a party.
Kirsten turned to her, already moving on. “Hey, I think Jason will be here tonight.” Leah didn’t say anything. “When I hung out with him last weekend, it was so tight. We just, like, smoke and drank and fooled around.”
“Do you want to go out with him?” Leah asked.
Kirsten made a face as if that was the craziest idea in the world. “Are you serious? Hell no. We just hook up.” Pause. “Leah, I don’t understand why you can’t find a guy to just hook up with. Okay, I know you like Marv, but you’re young, and pretty, and funny. Why don’t you have fun while you can?”
Leah didn’t say anything. To her, dating would be fun. If she just had the courage to be upfront with Marv.
Kirsten continued. “I know so many guys that would want to hook up with you. Peter, for one! He’s obsessed with you. And Brent. Liam, probably would too.” Beat. “Do you want me to talk to them for you tonight? I’ll talk to them for you tonight.”
That was the last thing Leah wanted, but she didn’t say anything. The girls drove in silence. Leah turned the music back up. Finally, Kirsten took a left down a street. A few houses down, dozens of cars were parked all along the sides of the road. The chatter of a party could be heard, and music was blaring. Kirsten pulled the car off to the side, away from all the other cars. She put it in park and removed the key from the ignition, shutting the radio off.
Kirsten put her visor down and opened the mirror, touching up her makeup. Leah sat there. This was the last place she wanted to be. In fact, all she really wanted was to be at home with her dog, or perhaps in Florida with her young cousins. Kirsten reapplied some lip gloss and then shut her visor. She grabbed her purse and began getting out of the car. Leah automatically did the same. The girls shut their doors, walking up to June’s house. They walked through the front yard, where a circle of people were hanging out and smoking in the dark.
“Kirsten and Leah! Finally, what up bitches?” Someone said from the circle. The two girls looked over at the group, and a tall blonde with a huge smile stepped into the lit up part of the yard and began walking towards them.
“What’s up, slut?!” Kirsten said. She and Leah walked over to meet the blonde, who opened her arms for a hug, but basically fell onto the girls.
“Oh, fuck,” a boy from the circle said. “Sorry, she’s really drunk,” he said to Leah and Kirsten. Then to the blonde, “Olivia, get up!”
Leah and Kirsten hung onto Olivia, who was laughing in their arms.
“Kyle, will you come get her please?” Kirsten said.
The boy came over to them to retrieve Olivia. She could barely stand by herself. The girls transferred her to Kyle, who then propped her up with his arms.
“Come on, stand up Olivia,” he said.
Olivia giggled while Kyle tried to get her to stand up without any help. Leah and Kirsten left them without saying anything. They walked up to the front door and went in as if it was their own home.
Right when they walked in, they saw people everywhere. Laying on the couches, leaning against the walls, sitting on the countertops. There weren’t many open spaces. The girls navigated through the crowd, trying to make their way to the kitchen to get to the alcohol. A few people said hello to them along the way.
“Yo! Whassup?!” a tall football player named Vince said. “Why weren’t you guys at the game last night?”
“I had to do my community service,” Kirsten said.
“I was grounded,” Leah lied.
“Shit, well I wish you guys could’ve been there. It was no fun without you two.”
“We know,” Kirsten said with a coy smile and flirty eyes.
Vince looked at her, completely charmed. He moved closer to her, but she casually took a step back.
“You’re coming next time, right?” he said. He seemed to have forgotten Leah was even there.
“Maybe,” Kirsten said.
“I hope you do.”
“You seen Jason around tonight?”
She smiled and gave him a wink. Then the girls began walking away. Vince called after them, “You guys better be there next time!”
They weaved through the house, attempting to dodge everyone they could until they just got to the damn alcohol. But Sissy saw them.
“Oh! Hey, girlies!” she said, throwing her arms around both of them. “How are you?! Oh my god, your outfits are so pretty.”
“Thanks, Sissy,” Kirsten said.
“Leah, your hair is just gorgeous, what did you do to it?”
Leah’s brows furrowed. “Nothing,” she said.
“Oh my god, it’s so pretty,” Sissy said.
Leah gave her a half-hearted fake smile. “Thanks.”
“Did you girls see Olivia tonight? Oh my god, she is absolutely wasted. It’s embarrassing, really. Kyle is, like, taking care of her. She was falling everywhere, and I heard she puked somewhere…”
Sissy continued rambling, but the girls weren’t even listening. Kirsten looked towards to kitchen impatiently, and Leah observed the crowd. Looking around the family room, she spotted a boy sitting on the couch. People all around him were passing around a bong, but when it got to him he politely declined. He was wearing a white and black striped t-shirt with a jean jacket over it and olive-colored pants.
He looked up. He and Leah caught each other’s eyes. Seeing her, he immediately perked up and smiled at her. She smiled back. He motioned for her to come join him. Leah turned to Kirsten, about to tell her goodbye, but Kirsten grabbed her wrist.
“Sissy, it was really nice talking to you. We actually gotta go though,” Kirsten said, already leaving and taking Leah with her.
“Oh, okay,” Sissy said. “Well, text me!”
Kirsten rolled her eyes. They resumed their path to the kitchen. Leah looked back to the boy, but he was talking to a girl named Martha. Kirsten and Leah were suddenly halted yet again.
“Hey! Kirsten, Leah!”
“Oh my fucking god,” Kirsten groaned.
The girls stopped, looking towards the voice that just called them. It was the homeowner, June. She got up from a chair at a table where she and a bunch of other people were playing some drinking game with a deck of cards. She was already really drunk.
Walking over people, she made her way to the girls, smiling hugely.
“Hey!” she said.
“Hey, June,” Kirsten said. Kirsten always was the one to talk, not because Leah was shy, but just because she didn’t feel like talking that much ever.
“I’m so glad you guys could come,” she said.
“It’s a good party,” Kirsten said.
June looked around at everyone. “Oh my god, I know, right? But, anyway, I just wanted to say, my parents are gonna be home, like, tomorrow evening, so if you could, like, maybe just clean up after yourselves so I won’t have a lot to do tomorrow morning? I mean, that would be great.”
The girls stared at her blankly. Leah laughed out loud, but quickly covered her mouth and stopped. This outburst made Kirsten bite her lip to try to refrain from laughter also.
“Um, sure, June,” Kirsten said.
“Yeah, no problem, June,” Leah said. “Don’t even worry about it, we got you.”
June took this sarcasm literally. “Oh my god, thank you so much, guys. It means a lot.” Beat. “Well, enjoy the party!”
June returned back to her seat.
“We certainly will,” Kirsten said under her breath.
The girls walked away, bursting out in laughter.
“Are you fucking serious, Leah? I can’t believe you just laughed in her face. You made me laugh!” Kirsten said,
Leah was still giggling. “Who the fuck says something like that?”
“That was so funny,” Kirsten said. “Let’s get to this goddamn alcohol already though.”
The girls finally made it to the kitchen with no other interruptions. On the island in the middle of the room were about a dozen bottles of different types of liquor, some sodas, juices, and red solo cups.
“Oh, hell yeah,” Kirsten said. “June got her shit together. Hm. Maybe I will clean up after myself.”
The girls laughed. They each took a clean cup and began surveying the alcohol. Kirsten poured some Skyy vodka into her cup.
“Take a shot with me!” she said.
Now was the point in the night where Leah partook in the typical party affairs. She took the vodka from Kirsten and poured two shots worth in her cup.
“Cheers, bitch!” Kirsten toasted. They raised their cups and quickly downed the liquid, making faces afterwards.
“Ugh,” Leah said. “That was so bad.”
Kirsten picked up some rum, poured some in her cup, and topped it off with some Coca Cola. Leah poured another shot into her cup and quickly downed it before anyone saw. Then she made a concoction of vodka and lemonade. Although by her standards, it could have been mistaken as lemon flavored vodka.
“Woo!” Kirsten said, already feeling the warmth in her body. She was a lightweight. “Now I’m ready to socialize.”
The girls giggled. Leah gulped down her drink, already about halfway through. Kirsten quickly grabbed Leah’s arm.
“Oh my god, there’s Jason!” she whispered.
Leah looked in the direction that Kirsten was looking in and spotted a tall, preppy blond boy flirting with a short brunette. The brunette had extreme curls and was bouncing them all over the place, giggling and lightly slapping Jason’s arm. He was all over her.
“Who the fuck is that bitch?” Kirsten said.
Leah tried to play along. “She’s probably just some whore.”
“She’s flirting so hard with Jason,” Kirsten said.
“Yeah, but who wouldn’t flirt with Jason? He’s a catch.”
“He’s flirting back.”
“No he’s not. Kirsten,” Leah said. “He’s just being nice. He looks like he doesn’t even want to talk to her.”
Kirsten chugged the rest of her drink, still eyeing Jason and the brunette. The girl shrieked with laughter and Jason joined in. Leah watched Kirsten and had the bottle of rum in her hand, ready to give some to her.
“Where’s the rum?” Kirsten said.
Leah held it up and poured some in her friend’s empty cup. She put the liquor back down on the counter, about to pick up the Coca Cola, but Kirsten drank what was in her cup before Leah had a chance.
“Shit, Kirsten! Pace yourself. You’re a lightweight.”
“Who the fuck is that girl?”
“Just go over and talk to him.”
Kirsten looked angry.
“I mean, you guys are just hooking up though,” Leah tried. “You said you didn’t want to date him.”
Kirsten shot her a look. Leah regretted saying anything.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” Leah said.
“No! Don’t, Leah. What is this, middle school?”
Leah put her hands up. “Okay, okay. God, I was just asking.” Neither girl said anything. “Oh, come on, Kirsten. Let’s just have fun tonight!”
Reluctantly, Kirsten looked away from Jason and the brunette.
“Come on, Kirsten,” Leah said.
Kirsten sighed, finally turning back towards her friend. “Okay.”
Vince walked by, and Leah caught his arm.
“Vince!” she said.
He looked down at both of them, his eyes lighting up. “Hey! You guys coming to the next game?” he joked.
Kirsten didn’t say anything, still upset. Leah knew it was her turn to take initiative.
“Only if you have some drinks with us,” Leah said, nudging his arm.
“Hell yeah, cheers to that,” he said.
Obviously wherever he had been going was not important, because the girls now held all of his attention. Vince instantly began pouring liquor into their three cups.
“I am going to make you guys the best punch ever. Are you ready for it?” he said.
“We are so ready,” Leah said.
“No, I don’t think you are.”
“We are 100% ready,” Leah played along.
“Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?”
“We are so ready!” Leah shouted.
Vince laughed and began mixing rum, vodka, gin, and whiskey in all three of the cups. He topped it all off with a little bit of Hawaiian Fruit Punch and gave each of the girls a cup. Suddenly, Leah wanted to sprint out of the house, get in Kirsten’s car, and drive home. She wanted to sit in bed, watch a movie, and go to sleep. Instead she just took the drink from Vince.
“Cheers! To a great fucking night!” Vince said.
“Cheers,” Leah said.
They raised up their cups—Kirsten’s slightly lower than the other two—and took a gulp. Kirsten and Leah made faces afterwards while Vince smiled at them.
“Ew!” Kirsten said. “You like that?”
“If it gets you drunk, you know I like it,” he said.
She giggled. Feeling a bit better, she said, “I bet I can chug this faster than you.”
“No way,” he said.
“You wanna bet?”
“Let’s have a contest,” he said. Then to everyone in the kitchen around him, “In fact, I want an audience. Hey, everyone!” Some people looked towards Vince. “Kirsten Gallagher thinks that she can chug her drink faster than me. Let’s have a little contest, shall we?”
Everyone cheered. He looked back to Kirsten. “You up for it?”
Kirsten snickered. “I hope you won’t be too embarrassed when I win.”
The crowd went, “oooohhhhh!” Vince smiled, shaking his head.
“I won’t be embarrassed at all. Because I’m going to win,” he said.
“Well, I guess we’ll just see about that,” Kirsten said.
“Alright, count us down!” Vince said to the crowd. “Five, four, three…”
He let the partygoers finish, and he and Kirsten immediately began chugging their drinks. The crowd watched excitedly. Everyone in the kitchen was focused on Kirsten and Vince, including Jason and the brunette.
Kirsten and Vince gulped their drinks down.
“Kirsten’s almost done!” a girl in the crowd said. Everyone looked towards Kirsten. Leah could tell she was smiling from behind her cup. Vince looked worriedly over at her from behind his. The both chugged faster. Suddenly, Kirsten pulled the cup away from her lips, swallowing the last of her drink and saying, “Ahhh!”
The teenagers went wild. Vince finished his drink a second later. Kirsten wiped her mouth and grinned at Vince.
“All right, all right, rematch!” he said.
“Are you sure you want to be humiliated again?” Kirsten said.
Vince started unscrewing the liquor bottles again, pouring them in the cups.
“I’ll fucking win this time,” he said.
Leah grinned while everyone else was captivated. She backed away slowly, starting to leave the kitchen. On her way out, she snuck a peek at Jason, who looked extremely jealous.
Leah left the kitchen and made her way to an empty chair in the corner of the family room. She plopped down in it, drink in hand. She was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol by now. A couple on the couch next to her were getting really touch-feely with each other. Leah sighed and looked around the party. She usually observed her surroundings everywhere she went, but when it came to parties, she often wondered why she was even there in the first place. People were playing beer pong, taking shots, shouting explicit lyrics to some rap song. Leah looked around June’s house. What’s the point?
The boy with the jean jacket from earlier caught her attention from across the room. He was with Calvin and Peter, watching them shotgun beers. He had his own red cup in hand, but Leah couldn’t help noticing it was completely filled to the brim, untouched. She continued to watch, and the jean jacket boy suddenly looked over at her. She smiled and waved at him, which he returned. He turned back to Calvin and Peter, told them something, and then made his way through the crowd to where Leah was sitting. He took a seat at the end of the couch next to her. The couple who were there got up and moved to the bedroom.
“Hey, Leah,” he said.
“What’s up, Marv,” she said.
“You having a good time tonight?”
Leah shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Marv looked at her, studying her. Finally he said, “No you aren’t.”
Leah was surprised by this. “What?”
“You don’t want to be here right now,” he said.
“Says who?”
“Says your expression.”
Leah said nothing. Neither did Marv. She took a sip of her drink.
“Are you having a good time tonight?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“You look pretty sober to me,” she said.
“I am,” he said. “Aren’t you?”
Leah smiled, but didn’t answer. They didn’t really say anything to each other. Marv sat there, trying to find something to say. He really wanted to continue hanging out with Leah. Finally, he took a pack of Juicy Fruit out of his pocket.
“Um, do you want some gum?” he asked.
Leah looked down at her drink. There was still a little less than half a cup.
“Not right now,” she said.
Marv shook his head, replacing the gum back in pocket.
“Oh, yeah, totally. My bad.”
Leah looked at him. She wanted to laugh and tell him it was okay. But she just took a gulp of her drink instead.
They both sat there, unsure of what to say. But neither wanted the other to leave. Marv messed around with his sleeve, while Leah continued taking sips of her drink.
“So, this is bullshit, huh?” Marv abruptly said.
“What is?” Leah asked.
“This—all of this. You know, drinking, smoking, partying. I mean, it’s bullshit.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Oh come on, Leah. I know you think it too.”
Leah looked down at her cup, smiling. “I asked you why you thought that, not if I agreed with you.”
“Oh.” Marv looked at her. He laughed a bit.
She glimpsed up at him. Neither said anything for a moment. He quickly looked down at his sleeve.
Then, “It’s bullshit because it isn’t what really matters in life. And it’s considered weird to have conversations like this—especially in a setting like this—even though it’s really not weird at all.”
“What does that even mean?” Leah said. “’Conversations like this’?”
“You know what I mean—meaningful conversations. People think you’re weird if you converse like this. Especially at a party,” Marv said.
Leah thought back to when she asked Kirsten about other worlds in the car. How Kirsten had gotten upset that she was bringing the topic up. “Yeah,” she said. “You’re right.”
“But I know you like speaking like this.”
Leah narrowed her eyes at him. “How?”
“Because you’re sitting in the corner of the room, all alone. You aren’t doing what everyone else is doing.”
“What is everyone else doing?”
“Acting like idiots.”
“So what am I doing then?”
Marv gazed at her. Suddenly aware that he was staring, he looked away. Leah chuckled, finishing her drink.
“Why do you drink so much?” Marv asked.
Leah looked down. “I don’t.”
“I know you can take a few shots, have several drinks, and still not feel a thing. Don’t tell me you were just born with high tolerance. Because then you’d be part of all this bullshit.”
Leah didn’t say anything. Marv felt bad for saying what he did.
“Well, why don’t you drink at all?” Leah asked.
“Who says I don’t drink at all?”
“You haven’t had one sip tonight.”
“How do you know? Have you been watching me?”
Leah flushed. “No. I meant, you said you were sober earlier, so I thought you hadn’t been drinking.”
Marv shrugged. “Nah, you’re right anyway. I don’t really drink. But is that a crime? I mean the oldest kid here is 17. Why is the fact that I’m not drinking weirder than the fact that everyone else is?”
Leah thought about this. He had a good point. Most of the people here were only 16, including herself. She stared at Marv.
Marv watched her watch him, then said, “What?”
“I like when people make me think,” she answered.
“Do I make you think?”
“Yes.”
“You make me think.”
Leah scoffed. She didn’t really believe him. “I do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re different than other people.”
Leah rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up, Marv.”
“What? What did I say?”
“That is so cliché,” she said. “’You’re different than other people.’ Give me a break.”
“I don’t give a shit if it’s cliché or not, it’s true.”
“Sure, whatever.”
Marv shook his head, a little angry. “Whatever, Leah. Think what you want.” Pause. “You know what, I can’t understand why you hang out around these people, and why you can’t believe anything that anyone ever says to you, especially me. I have no reason to lie to you.”
“Why do I hang around these people? I could say the same to you!” Leah said.
“Leah, you’re better than these people. And before you say anything, yes, that’s cliché, get over it. It’s fucking true.”
“Well, you’re better than these people too. Maybe I wonder the same thing about you. You’re so much better than these people, it kills me to see you at these things. But you’re also the only reason I come. I couldn’t care less about everyone else.”
Marv let these words sink in. He looked down at his sleeve, a smile slowly growing on his face. Leah also let her words resonate. She found herself both shocked and embarrassed at what she said. She sighed, playing around with her red solo cup.
“All anyone our age ever does nowadays is just get trashed and wake up the next morning, not remembering a thing.” Leah shook her head. “It’s pointless. There’s so much more to life.”
“Well now you’re contradicting yourself,” Marv said.
“How am I contradicting myself?”
“That’s exactly what I said earlier.”
“Yeah, and I didn’t disagree with you.”
“But you didn’t say anything else either.”
“I’m not contradicting myself—I’m agreeing with what you said.”
Marv shrugged. “You’re confusing, Leah.”
“I make you think though, huh?” She smiled, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared down at his shoes. Leah nudged his arm. Finally he looked up, smiling at her.
Suddenly a voice called out to Leah. “Hey, Bentwright! You gonna come in here and have a shot with us or what?”
Leah looked up to see Kirsten and Vince in the kitchen doorway smiling at her. They both had their red solo cups in hand, Vince also with a bottle of vodka. Marv looked at them, then back at Leah.
“Well? You gonna go have a shot, Bentwright?” Marv said.
Leah looked at him, her brows knit. She didn’t know whether she should go over to Kirsten and Vince to have a shot and get drunk, or if she should stay and continue her conversation with Marv. Leah looked back towards the kitchen. She could see other people waiting for her reaction. She spotted Jason off to the side, watching Kirsten with extreme jealousy in his eyes. The curly-haired brunette he was with earlier was nowhere to be found.
“Yeah, for sure!” Leah called out.
“All right!” Vince celebrated, raising the vodka. Smiling, he went back into the kitchen. Kirsten was smiling also, waving Leah over. Then she followed Vince back into the kitchen.
Leah looked at Marv. He was messing with his sleeve. Suddenly he picked up his full cup of beer and poured it out into the potted plant next to the couch. He reached into his pocket, retrieving his car keys, but continued to sit there.
“Marv,” Leah said. He looked up at her. She paused, looking down at her empty cup. The party around them was loud, but they heard none of it. Leah bent over and rolled up Marv’s sleeve once, taking him by surprise. She looked at him. “Can I get that piece of gum now?” He looked at her blankly, unsure of how to respond. Then she got up and walked into the kitchen.